Why you should fear me

Those of you who play obscene amounts of Space Cadet Pinball are probably familiar with the phenomenon in which you earn four extra balls and three replays on your first deploy and rack up about 12,000,000 points, only to have your second and third balls fail miserably. That happened to me, but I made enough use out of the first deploy to score 14,159,750 points, all just because it was raining and I didn't want to leave the internet café.

In blog-related news, I'm having a few issues with my element display that I hope will go away on their own, since everything appears to be in order on my dashboard. I added a feed from my Twitter account for those little thoughts that aren't detailed enough to deserve their own post, and a couple of corporate blog links. Also, after knowing about it for several months, I finally fixed the dead link to Anna Banana's site (she threw me off with the "www" addition to her URL).

They keep trying to save me

Most of my more dedicated readers will know by now that my host family are Jehova's Witnesses, and that they are at least slightly crazy. I believe that these are two separate factors that work together to make my housing situation more interesting, rather than being directly related.

This has not always been clear, and I can name one particular example in which the obfuscation became awkward. It was over winter break, and I was at home having the Kauffman family Christmas dinner with my aunts and uncles (and parents and brother). Conversation turned to my host family back in Mexico, and I immediately said "They're crazy!" Before I could elaborate with tales of lacking sanity, my dad interjected, "Yeah, they're Jehova's Witnesses, right?" True. But as far as I know, that's not why they're crazy. And again, before I could get any words out, my uncle Tim turned to me and told me he was studying to be a Jehova's Witness. It was an incredibly uncomfortable situation, and now I'm the intolerant one.

Anyway, I think there are things to be learned from the Jehova's Witnesses (or Testigos de Jehova). Today a nicely-dressed man caught up with me as I was walking between schools and said, "Una disculpa, ¿Usted habla inglés?" I said that I did, which is always risky if you're trying to get somewhere on time, and he pulled a copy of The Watchtower from his bag and handed it to me, explaining that this issue was about la creación ("What Does Creation Reveal about God?"). I told him I live with Jehova's Witnesses and didn't need to take one of his copies, but he said to go ahead and take it since it was already in my hand. I can't argue with that logic.

Most churches have some sort of theological pamphlet available. Off the top of my head, the Church of the Brethren has Messenger magazine, the quarterly Brethren Life & Thought, and congregational and district newsletters. But the Jehova's Witnesses pass them out to people like me on the street in a friendly, non-preachy way. Realistically, most of them probably go in the trash, but some of them are bound to be read. And this isn't blind fundamentalist preaching (no apologies) - they actually encourage you to study and develop your own thought (with the help of Church publications). From conversations with my host family, I think these people are better Biblical scholars than most average churchgoers (I'm proud to say that so far I've been able to hold my own in referencing scripture).

Oh, and readers: how many of you have allowed a father and son to share your house for a few days simply because they were seeing the same eye surgeon as you and lived further away? (I guess this only applies to people who have had eye surgery.)

¿Hay machismo en la lengua castellana?

Those of you who understand Spanish (or, as this particular piece more correctly calls it, Castilian) will appreciate this article one of my professors gave me earlier this year.

Dios: creador del universo y cuya divinidad se transmitió a su Hijo (varón) por línea paterna.
Diosa: ser mitológico de culturas supersticiosas, obsoletas y olvidadas.

Patrimonio: conjunto de bienes.
Matrimonio: conjunto de males.

Héroe: ídolo.
Heroína: droga.

Atrevido: osado, valiente.
Atrevida: insolente, mal educada o puta.

Soltero: codiciado, inteligente, hábil
Soltera: quedada, lenta, ya se le fue el tren.

Suegro: padre político
Suegra: bruja, metiche, etc.

Machista: hombre macho.
Feminista: lesbiana

Don Juan: hombre en todo su sentido
Doña Juana: mujer desconocida, cualquiera

Zorro: espadachín justiciero.
Zorra: puta

Perro: mejor amigo del hombre.
Perra: puta.

Aventurero: osado, valiente, arriesgado, hombre de mundo.
Aventurera: puta.

Ambicioso: visionario, enérgico, con metas.
Ambiciosa: puta.

Cualquier: cosa o persona indeterminada.
Cualquiera: puta.

Fulano: persona indeterminada.
Fulana: puta.

Callejero: de la calle, urbano, guía de la ciudad.
Callejera: puta.

Hombrezuelo: hombrecillo, varón, mínimo, pequeñito.
Mujerzuela: puta.

Hombre público: personaje prominente.
Mujer pública: puta.

Golfo: masa de agua marina parcialmente rodeada de tierra.
Golfa: puta.

Lobo: mamífero predador rapaz y feroz; hombre agresivo.
Loba: puta.

Ligero: hombre débil y/o sencillo
Ligera: puta.

Adúltero: infiel
Adúltera: puta.

Putin: jefe de estado ruso.
Putina: puta, putilla.

Hombre que vende sus servicios: consultor.
Mujer que vende sus servicios: puta.

Hombre de la vida: hombre de gran experiencia.
Mujer de la vida: puta.

Rápido: inteligente, despierto.
Rápida: puta.