The only conversation I ever had with Mark Souder

Mark Souder, for those of you who don't know him, is a quick-tempered, abraisive, ultra-conservative U.S. Representative from Indiana's third congressional district. I have had the opportunity to hear him speak and found him infuriating for both his complete lack of respect for, well, anyone, and his astonishing inability to grasp or adequately explain scientific concepts.

I got to meet with Souder in a crowded hallway in the Capitol Building, along with several other Church of the Brethren youth, to talk about our desire to see a bill that would allow conscientious objectors to have their tax money diverted so that none of it would be used for the military. Souder objected on two counts: First, he said that was stupid because the money would just be made up from other peoples' tax dollars and it would just be a piece of paperwork that didn't actually affect how money was spent (I actually agreed with him on this one, but the Church was telling us what side to take). The second and more startling complaint he had was that (and this is a quote) "Nobody else gets to pick and choose where their tax dollars go. For example, I don't want to see my tax dollars going to support homosexuality."

I could not for the life of me think of any federal program that directly supported homosexuality (perhaps we should deny them medical care or something), so I said that was actually a great idea and that we should create a Federal Assistance for Gays Subsidy (F.A.G.S.).

I was accused of being "unconstructive."