I just found out that security no longer carries keys to the housekeeping areas because of their insistence on "controlling their inventory."
Yes. Because I have access to scientific devices worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, an observatory, radioactive materials, dangerous chemicals, a live boa constrictor, the world's most complete giant beaver skeleton, key-making equipment, police and EMS radios, expensive musical instruments, and the private residences of over a thousand people, but what I really want to do is steal some Windex.
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